6 little things that keep me going as a mother
At this age, kids are more than glad to show off they've grown up, even in reality they are still small kids, unable to face the tough word outside.
See, every time I asked my son about something, he would quickly assure me with a "I can do this mum" in an almost angry way, like I have seriously doubted his ability to do a simple task.
But, we have to take a closer look at these words as "I can do it" is probably one of the most frequent phrases a parent can hear at this age. When kids say "I can do it", what they actually mean inside their little minds is "Go away mum or dad, I've grown up and I think I can do it myself without your helping hand".
And ultimately, we come up with this dilemma: Should we interfere or not? This is the trickiest part that confuses many parents like myself. On one hand, you want to encourage your kids to do stuff on their own and pave their way to independence that way. On the other hand, an 8 year old is still a small kid and some tasks are hard or virtually impossible to do on their own, without at least some form of help or supervision. You can't let your kid play with fire, right?
Well, the thing is, we have to keep in mind that kids at this age start to become really lively-My second son Daniel for example, spends most of his time in action and rarely has time for the more "gentle" stuff like kissing, speaking on a soft voice and cuddling. By the end of the day, he still feels the need to do some extra stuff he couldn't do throughout the day—it may sound crazy but yes, the kids at this age always look for a reason to stay awake.
My son couldn't realize that people need to take breaks and rest. He would tell me for example: "Mum, I feel tired? Why?" and this was a moment I felt powerless as it was beyond my control.
I came to realize that kids at this stage consider and observe mainly from their own experiences. There is little we can do to change that. At times, the only thing to do is to watch their natural progress as a witness with minimal interfering as this would seem pointless. And of course, goodnight them with a "sweat dreams" and a kiss, hoping that the next day things will improve.
But, there are actually some ways to get "recharged" and become more motivated and patient with your kid's antics throughout this stage.
1) Chatting with other mums
A perfect alternative to counting to 10, is to find some like-minded people --aka friends who happen to be mummies-- as well to talk. I do this on the spur of the moment when I feel nervous or tired but it truly works to calm down my nerves and lift my mood, at least temporarily. Do this and you'll know what I'm talking about.
2)Staying silent during bed time
Many mums like me will find that joining motherhood has drastically changed their social patterns. I, for an instance, become more introverted than I was before and I craved moments where I could enjoy utter silence. It's completely natural if you ask me—especially when the environment in your home resembles a big, noisy playground. By the end of the day, I choose to stay silent and I expect my son to do the same.
3) Seeing my son after a day apart
There are times when your kid will inevitably has to be away for most of the day or even more. When, they return back in to your arms hugging and telling you how their day was, there's nothing better and more nurturing. Afterall, you've been waiting for this moment the whole day, embrace it.
4)Taking a shower without my son interrupting
Some days, I can simply enjoy my shower full-time without my son interrupting to ask me something irrelevant like "I want more candy".
5) Eating my "secret" treat.
There is a secret spot in my house where I put my chocolate or candy bar to enjoy any random moment I feel so, without worrying that my son will find it or catch me. It's truly one of the most enjoyable things to do after taking a shower uninterrupted.
6)Watching him go to sleep
There are moments where I feel the sudden urge to check up on my son and admire him "sleeping". Then I realize he had grown an inch taller and that's when I begin to worry if will be able to catch-up with him growing up at such a speedy rate and become a grown-up.
When we become mothers, we need to realize that not everything will be all nice. There are truly challenging and exhausting moments we can't avoid as mothers. Instead of complaining, we should see them as valuable lessons that make us better as mothers and persons in general. And there is nothing wrong when we dedicate some time for ourselves to relax. This is something that will recharge our batteries and makes us feel more at ease when we handle our daily, motherhood tasks.